EMDR for Couples Therapy
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) therapy is a powerful approach for healing the effects of past experiences that continue to shape your relationship today.
Heal Past Wounds. Rebuild Connection. Move Forward Together
When one or both partners carry unresolved trauma, it often shows up as patterns of conflict, emotional distance, or feeling stuck. EMDR has proven benefits for healing trauma, anxiety, and depression — and emerging research suggests it can also improve relationship satisfaction.
If you’re wondering whether this is the right approach, start here.
EMDR is traditionally offered as an individual therapy, integrating it into couples’ work allows both partners to heal together in a supportive, guided process.If you’re wondering whether this is the right approach, start here.
EMDR-informed couples’ therapy may be a good fit if you and your partner are:
- Struggling to move past a shared trauma (e.g., an affair, serious illness, accident, or loss)
- Feeling caught in cycles of conflict or emotional distance, despite wanting closeness
- Hoping to deepen your connection, but finding that old wounds keep resurfacing
- Already in couples’ therapy but sensing that unresolved trauma is holding you back
This approach works best when both partners feel committed to the relationship, have a basic sense of emotional safety, and are willing to support each other’s healing journey.
Is This Right for You – treatment options
Weekly Sessions — Gentle, ongoing support to rebuild trust and emotional regulation at a steady pace.
Intensive Options — Half-day, one-day, or multi-day private intensives for couples ready to focus deeply without the stop–start of weekly therapy. Each intensive includes careful assessment, a safe processing structure, and post-intensive integration sessions to help gains stick.
Ways I Integrate EMDR in Couples’ Therapy
Working with a trained psychologist can help you move beyond patterns that keep you feeling stuck as a couple. When we integrate EMDR into couples’ work, my role is to guide you both with care and help you feel safe as you explore the experiences that continue to shape your relationship. Together, we focus on creating an environment where you feel supported — not just by me as your therapist, but also by each other — so that healing can become a shared experience.
EMDR Protocol
Assessment & Preparation – We’ll begin with a joint session and then I’ll meet with each of you individually to understand your experiences and ensure you feel ready.
Building Safety as a Couple – I’ll help you develop a shared sense of safety and trust so the relationship itself becomes a supportive resource.
Identifying Target Memories – We’ll work together to identify the experiences that continue to trigger distress.
Processing Together – I’ll guide you both through EMDR processing during the session, focusing on the shared experiences that affect your connection.
Strengthening Positive Beliefs – We’ll choose and install a constructive belief about your relationship (e.g., “We can face challenges together”).
Body Awareness & Support – You’ll learn gentle bilateral stimulation to support one another during processing.
Closure & Integration – We’ll end each session with grounding and reflection so you leave feeling stable and supported.
Review & Next Steps – We’ll check what has shifted since our last meeting and decide where to focus next.
You’ll always know what’s next, and we’ll move at a pace that feels safe for both of you.
Integrating EMDR with Other Couples’ Therapies
Not every couple comes in with a single shared trauma. Many couples I work with feel caught in recurring conflict, communication struggles, or old wounds that resurface in moments of stress.
In these situations, I often integrate EMDR with approaches such as the Gottman Method or Imago Relationship Therapy to help you address both the emotional and relational aspects of your challenges.
With the Gottman Method – EMDR can help you process past hurts that fuel defensiveness, criticism, or withdrawal, so you can engage more easily with the tools and skills you learn in therapy.
With Imago Therapy – EMDR helps you work through the deeper, often early life experiences that get activated in your relationship, allowing you to communicate with more empathy and understanding.
Together, we address both the roots of your pain and the patterns between you — so change lasts.
My aim is always to guide you with warmth and respect as we explore these experiences together.
EMDR isn’t about reliving the past — it’s about helping you release the weight of old pain so you can build a more secure, supportive, and fulfilling relationship.
Benefits of EMDR-Informed Couples’ Therapy
01
Relational Healing
Relief becomes linked to your partner’s presence, not just the therapist’s.
02
Greater Intimacy
Defensiveness softens; empathy and closeness grow more naturally.
03
Breakthrough Moments
Move through patterns that felt stuck for years. Your wellbeing always comes before process. If needed, we can start with individual or foundational couples’ therapy first.
When It Might Not Be Right
- Ongoing abuse or unresolved trust violations
- One or both partners don’t feel safe being vulnerable
- A partner might misuse what emerges in therapy against the other
- Difficulty self-soothing during emotional work
Your wellbeing always comes before process. If needed, we can start with individual or foundational couples’ therapy first.
What to Expect in Our Sessions
Initial Consultation — We’ll discuss your relationship history, goals, and whether EMDR integration is appropriate.
Assessment & Preparation — Creating safety, stabilising emotions, identifying the areas where trauma affects your connection.
Integrated Sessions — When ready, we introduce EMDR processing in a way that supports both partners.
Ongoing Support — We monitor progress, adjust our approach, and ensure you both feel heard and safe.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
No. Many couples come to EMDR not because they’re in crisis, but because they want to move past blocks — such as unresolved pain, communication challenges, or recurring conflict — and build deeper connection.
Timelines vary. We’ll tailor weekly or intensive pacing to your goals and readiness, with preparation and follow-up included.
Yes. We build safety and move gently, never faster than your nervous systems can handle.
Yes. EMDR integrates with Gottman/Imago to support communication and repair skills.
We can begin with individual readiness work until both of you feel safe to proceed
Whether you prefer weekly sessions or a private intensive, there’s a safe, structured path forward for both of you.
Begin Your Healing Journey Together
Healing doesn’t have to happen alone. EMDR-informed couples’ therapy—integrated with Gottman and Imago techniques—offers a way to move forward as a team. EMDR for couples is a promising, emerging approach. While it shows encouraging results, research is still ongoing. We will always prioritise safety, readiness, and your emotional well-being in this work.
Get in touch
Getting started with therapy takes courage and I’d be honoured to guide you along the process. Reach out any time with your questions, book an appointment, or learn more information.