As a psychologist, I’ve worked with numerous clients who have experienced trauma and been diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). While PTSD is often associated with symptoms like flashbacks and nightmares, there’s another behavior that’s commonly overlooked: people-pleasing.
People-pleasing, or excessive accommodation, can be a coping mechanism for individuals with PTSD. It’s an attempt to maintain control and avoid conflict in a world that feels unpredictable and threatening. However, this behavior can have severe consequences on mental health and relationships.
Symptoms of People-Pleasing Behavior in PTSD:
- Difficulty setting boundaries
- Overcommitting and overexerting oneself
- Prioritising others’ needs over one’s ow
- Fear of rejection or abandonment
- Avoidance of conflict or assertiveness
- Self-sacrificing behaviours.
The Connection Between People-Pleasing and PTSD:
- Trauma can lead to feelings of powerlessness and helplessness
- People-pleasing becomes a way to regain control and avoid feelings of vulnerability.
- Excessive accommodation can be an attempt to prevent rejection or abandonment, stemming from attachment issues.
Breaking Free from People-Pleasing:
- Recognise the pattern: Identify when you’re engaging in people-pleasing behaviour.
- Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding
- Set boundaries: Learn to say “no” without guilt or shame.
- Prioritize self-care: Focus on your own needs and desires.
- Seek support: Work with a therapist or support group to address underlying trauma.
Remember, people-pleasing behavior is not a sign of weakness, but rather a coping mechanism that can be addressed and changed. By acknowledging the connection between people-pleasing and PTSD, we can work towards healing and developing healthier relationships with ourselves and others.