Have you ever wondered why, even though you’re working hard and ticking all the boxes, you still feel stuck? On the outside, life might look fine — you have a job, responsibilities, maybe even achievements others admire. But inside, it feels different. Like you’re moving through quicksand. Every step feels heavier than it should.
Being stuck doesn’t always look dramatic.
Sometimes it shows up as Sunday night dread before the work week begins. Or the way your shoulders tense every time a new project lands on your desk. It can sound like replaying conversations in your head, worrying you said the wrong thing. Or quietly comparing yourself to others and always coming up short.
This stuckness isn’t laziness or lack of willpower. It’s your mind trying to protect you. Many people carry quiet fears of rejection, criticism, failure, or shame — and over time, those fears start to run the show. If you overwork, you can’t be called out. If you hold back, you can’t be embarrassed. If you doubt yourself, you can avoid the sting of disappointment.
The problem is that these strategies — which once helped you get through hard moments — can start to trap you. The more you chase perfection, the less space you have for joy. The more you silence yourself, the smaller your world becomes. The more you hold back, the further away your dreams feel.
That’s why feeling stuck can be so frustrating. On the outside, you’re doing everything “right.” On the inside, you’re weighed down by rules you didn’t even choose — rules written years ago that now keep you circling the same ground.
The hopeful part is this: these patterns can shift.
When you begin to notice the fear underneath — the fear of not being enough, of being seen, of failing — you open the door to something new. Space to pause. Space to breathe. Space to respond differently.
And this is where therapy can make a real difference. Approaches like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) help untangle the old memories and beliefs that quietly drive these patterns. Beliefs like “I’m not good enough,” “I can’t fail,” or “If I let people see me, they’ll reject me.” These patterns didn’t appear overnight. They took years to form, often rooted in earlier experiences. Which is why they can feel so hard to shift on your own.
With the right tools, it is possible to gently reprocess those old beliefs so they no longer carry the same weight. EMDR helps your mind and body let go of the fear tied to the past, so you can respond to the present with more clarity and confidence.
Change takes patience.
These patterns didn’t build overnight, and they won’t unravel overnight either. But every step you take is part of becoming the version of yourself who knows who they are, and trusts themselves enough to move toward what they truly want in life.
This is the work I do every day as a psychologist and trauma therapist. I help people soften those old rules, understand where they came from, and build steadier ways of moving through life and work. If you’ve been feeling stuck, know this: with support, you can move forward differently.